I almost called this little rant "Internet Manners for Dummies" but really I don't want to insult people who are new and just don't know the ropes. But if you have been around for a while, and STILL do this stuff, you deserve everything you get!
 

Chatting

1. Just because you can't see someone's face, doesn't mean they are not a person with feelings and all the rest of it. Just because you don't have to face them tomorrow is no reason to treat them like crap.

2. If you are talking to someone on a chat program or a chatroom and they don't automatically answer you, don't get pissed off. The person you are talking to might have important things to attend to in their 'real time' life, eg. lots of people chat in quiet moments at work, or are looking after children and may be called away unexpectedly. They may have been disconnected or are experiencing some other computer problem. Don't just assume that they don't want to talk to you and throw a hissy fit because of it.

4. TYPING IN CAPITALS ONLINE IS CONSIDERED SHOUTING. Don't do it, unless you really mean it.

5. If someone on your [insert chat program here] has "busy" or "away" or something similar beside their name, this means they do not want to talk, or are away from their computer. Do not assume that because you can see them online they will want to, or be able to talk to you.

Some people use the internet for work or study and aren't there for the fun of it. You might just use the net for entertainment purposes but perhaps they do not.

Some people download music or movies and so on but are not at the computer while it's downloading.

Some people will go online check email, then go do something else away from the computer while staying online. I often do this because it saves me a phone call when I want to connect again later.

There are lots of reasons why someone is busy or unavailable. If someone is signaling this, please respect that.

6. If you are using a chat program, do not say hello the very instant someone comes online. Give them a few minutes first.

If they are on dial-up on an old computer (like me) this can be very disruptive. I run more than one chat program and they all load up at once. If I am also attempting to load up a browser and download email, having two or three people saying 'hello hello hello' can send both me and my computer into a spin.

Plus it doesn't give me much time to signal if I am available to talk or not. Some programs like MSN don't let you save this setting so you have to wait until it loads up before you can do this.

Trolling.

For anyone who doesn't know, trolls are a strange breed of creature who exist on the internet. They can be found on messageboards and chatrooms all over the net. Their typical behaviour is leaving inflammatory comments, starting fights and so on, and they feed off the trouble and hurt feelings they cause.

The more attention you give them, they more they stay around. The quickest way to get rid of them, is to ignore them.

When confronted with one of these creatures remember:

 subspecies of troll lurks in chatrooms looking for cybersex. Many female chatters are confronted with these creatures who do not post in public but send private messages. Their initial mating call is usually "a/s/l" (age/sex/location). The occasional one will just want to know your bra size. Like the common troll, usually if you ignore them, they go away.

If you ARE a troll, you are a sick, sad person.

Emailing

1. Similar to messaging and chatting, if you don't hear from someone right away, don't assume that its because they are mad at you or don't love you anymore. Sometimes people actually don't go online every day, (as bizarre as this may seem to some of us). Sometimes people are just too busy to get back to you. Just be patient.

Or if you are like me, when I have only just met someone online, I don't give them my home email address. I will only give out a web-based email address. I don't always check these every day.

I am very very very slack about emailing people back, as anyone who knows me well knows. It doesn't mean I don't like you. I do it to even my closet net friends. Especially when I'm not well. It's not personal.

2. Chain letters. These drive me completely up the wall. Do you seriously believe all those wonderful things will happen to you if you forward alone an EMAIL for gods sake? Can you say superstitious? Or that your hair will fall our and your skin will turn green if you don't send it?

Don't forward them on. They are just internet junk. If you like the sentiment in them, delete the chain mail part. Personally I find the mood of an otherwise nice email is completely spoilt by a 'quick send this onto 10 people in 6 minutes or ...'. It makes me instantly reach for my delete button.

3. Don't add someone you just met to your email address book and then proceed to forward them every joke and bit of internet junk you receive. It's very, very rude.